


Neither Ever, Nor Never Goodbye

by No_One_987



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Forbidden Love, Goodbyes, R/L Week 2020, Tourney at Harrenhal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25427917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/No_One_987/pseuds/No_One_987
Summary: Against everyone’s expectations, the crown prince Rhaegar Targaryen crowns Lyanna Stark as the Queen of Love and Beauty. Emotions run high as they meet one last time to bid farewell to each other.
Relationships: Lyanna Stark/Rhaegar Targaryen
Comments: 23
Kudos: 30





	Neither Ever, Nor Never Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> For R/L Week 2020 day 2 : canon compliant

The crowd erupted in a cheer as Rhaegar took off his shining helm for his victory lap after unhorsing Ser Barristan Selmy in the final tilt. Taking the crown of winter roses, there wasn’t a shadow of a doubt in his mind who it belonged to. As custom dictated everyone expected him to crown his wife Elia, but he gently nudged his destrier forward, from where she was sitting towards his intended destination.

The silence was deafening when he stopped his horse in front of the Starks’ pavilion. He used the tip of his lance to place the crown of winter roses, blue as frost, in Lyanna’s lap, crowning her the Queen of Love and Beauty. Rhaegar could hear the collective gasps from the audience, but out of all the people in the crowd, the thought of only one concerned him. He knew what he’d done that day would be detested by many, but he did not care. 

In that moment, the only thing on his mind was one person, and one person alone. _Her_. For a moment their eyes met, he tried to decipher the look on her face, but failed. He could see Brandon Stark rising to his feet, boiling with rage as Rhaegar slowly led his horse away, leaving chaos in his wake.

Rhaegar waited in the godswood, their usual spot, the place where they’d been meeting for the past seven days. But today, every second felt like an eternity in itself. With every passing moment, his patience waned a little more and his heart sank a little further. _What if Lyanna did not come?_ A malicious voice in the back of his head told him. _Did he offend her_ , he fervently hoped not.

That had never been his intention. No, his only intention had been to give Lyanna her due. _She deserved_ to be The Queen of Love and Beauty. _She deserved_ to be loved and cherished. _She deserved_ the world. 

Guilt washed over Rhaegar as the last thought crossed his mind. No, he would not go down that path again, he told himself. Just one more day, and then he and Elia would go back to their old life on Dragonstone. These feelings would eventually fade and he would no longer be haunted by her presence. _Only memories_ he thought as he closed his eyes. And her pale, long, beautiful face flitted across his mind.

Upon opening his eyes, he realized his vision had come alive. She had come after all.

“You came,” he murmured, softly. As she came closer, he saw those grey eyes clouded with turmoil.

Lyanna stood there silently searching for something in his face, what he did not know. Every passing moment spent in silence threatened to send him spiraling over the edge. Rhaegar had spent his entire life being in control. But every time he was near her, he seemed to lose his grasp on his emotions, his life, and sometimes, even his destiny.

“Say something. Please.” She could’ve screamed at him for all that he cared. Anything, so long as it wasn’t this torturous, deafening silence. It was starting to kill him.

Finally, she began to speak, though there was a tremor of anger in her lilted voice. “How? How could you do something as stupid as this?” The rage in her tone swelled with every word.

The answer was simple. _How couldn’t he? He loved her._ But there was no point in uttering those words into existence. It would do no one any good.

Instead, he settled on, “Because you deserved it. For your bravery and your gallantry. You did what many knights would have hesitated to. And had it not been for the constraints of your sex and the paranoia of my father, you wouldn’t have to conceal yourself. If anyone deserved a prize, it was you.” He could see the anger on her face melting away and uncertainty taking its place.

“I didn't do it for a reward. My intention was only to defend my friend’s honor.” She said defiantly. Of course, the she-wolf of Winterfell wouldn’t give in so easily, even if it was to accept a reward that she deserved the most.

“I know. Which is more than I can say for some of the knights present here. If you will not accept it as a reward, then, please accept it as a parting gift. A token of admiration from a friend.” His heart lurched as he said the last words. This was the last he would see of her. Maybe it was for the best, his mind told him. But his heart seemed to disagree. A mild frown appeared on her face.

“Was that the only reason?” the fire burned wild in her grey eyes. It was as if she could read his mind clearly, and she still yearned to hear those forbidden words that could change everything between them. _But he couldn’t deny her anything even if he wanted to, how could he?_

“Because I love you.”

“I thought you were never going to admit it,” she sighed, a small smile gracing her face.

“I didn’t say it before because it won’t change anything. Nothing can ever happen between us,” he told her reluctantly, his heart breaking into a million pieces. “If I wasn’t married, and were you not betrothed to another, I would have declared myself yours a long time ago.”

The confession moved Lyanna he could see, her love, her desire burning through her eyes. “I love you, Rhaegar Targaryen,” she said. It was only three words, and yet Rhaegar’s heart felt like bursting with happiness as soon as he heard them.

“You’re wrong,” she continued, her voice almost a whisper. “It changes everything.” He saw her eyes flitting to his lips, lingering there for a moment, and then trailing back to his eyes. Before he could say a word in response, he found her lips against his; the warmth and scent of her breath made him dizzy. Her lips parted softly, and he could taste faint traces of wine on her tongue. Lyanna had taken him by surprise, the same way she had the day she attacked him upon discovering her, with the mismatched armour.

Soon, his senses kicked in, and he took her in his arms. With his arms wrapped around her slim waist, her fingers entangled in his hair, he wondered how he could have ever possibly thought of giving her up. He could feel lightning coursing through his veins, as if his entire world had been set ablaze. He had kissed plenty of time before, hell, he was a married man, and yet nothing he’d ever experienced had come anywhere close to the way he felt in that moment.

It was as if they were two pieces of a puzzle, fitting into each other perfectly, making each other complete. What had started out as a chaste kiss had quickly deepened into something altogether deeper. There was teeth and tongue, and he could feel her moaning into his mouth. Finally, she pulled away a little, gasping for breath and breaking the kiss. 

And it was then the realization had struck him that he would never be able to live without her. And neither would she.

The moonlight illuminated Lyanna’s long face, her sharp jaws and the tumbles of brown curls radiating a beauty that was surreal.

“Why do I have to live by their rules? Why do I have to marry the person they choose for me? Why?” she asked defiantly as they again locked eyes. “I want freedom, Rhaegar.” His name on her lips was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. “I want freedom to live life the way I want to. I want freedom to choose who I want to spend the rest of my life with.” A small tear trickled down her eyes, and he wiped it away with his thumb as he cupped his face.

“Let’s run away somewhere, somewhere far away from here. Far away from their rules, far away from this world. Somewhere, where there is just me and you.” Her grey eyes pleaded silently. There was nothing more he desired but he knew that it cannot be.

“What about the duty that we have towards our families?” he asked gently, hoping it would be an answer enough. Deep down, though, he knew better. If, in the last seven days, he had learnt anything about Lyanna Stark, the she-wolf of Winterfell, it was that she was never the one to give up easily.

“What about the duty that we owe to our hearts? What about our duty to our love?” His helplessness showed on his face. He wished he had an answer to her questions. “Rhaegar, if I die, I die. But first, I want to _live_.”

“Hush, my love. Never say those words again. I will never let anything happen to you.” He couldn’t. How could he? After all, she was the light of his life.

“Then don’t let them take me away from you,” she implored. He shuddered at the thought of losing her, but fate had tied his hands. All he could do now was gather her in his arms and hold her close to his heart.

“We all have our destinies to fulfill, my love.” He said softly, stroking her hair.

“What if our destinies are intertwined, yours and mine?”

“Then nothing can separate us.” He could see a small smile forming on her face.

More than anything, he wished he could freeze time and stay there with her forever.

“Is this the last we’ll see each other?” she asked and, like her previous questions, Rhaegar found himself at a loss for words.

“You can always visit me in King’s Landing,” he said, trying to find some salve for her pain.

“As Lady Baratheon.” she taunted him and it felt like someone had stabbed him right through his heart. The simple thought made his blood boil. His entire life, Rhaegar had prided himself on being a level headed man, but those words made him wish he had dragons like his ancestors so he could rain down fire and blood on anyone who dared to separate his love from him.

“I wish it was in my power to promise to spend the rest of my life with you. But you have my words: As long as I shall live, my heart shall be yours, and yours only.” Elia was his wife, and his friend, but her heart belonged to someone else, and now, his heart belonged to Lyanna.

“Vows made in godswood are sacred. Now, you’ll have to uphold it forever,” she teased, a small smile gracing her face.

“Forever, then,” he promised.

“And I may not have a choice in who I can marry, but I will choose who I love. And I choose you, Rhaegar. You will always be in my heart. Forever.” Her words made his heart soar with happiness and drown in a sea of emotions at the same time.

He couldn’t remember for how long they had stood there in the godswood in each other’s arms. Every moment was pure bliss, as if he had got everything he wanted. The moonlight falling on the faces of the heart tree revealed their gaunt faces, as if even the old gods approved of their love. Outside the woods, though, their worlds didn’t. In the distance, he could see that dawn was starting to break.

“Lyanna, my love, you need to leave, lest you be discovered,” he said finally, breaking their embrace as he took her soft hands into his.

“Can’t we stay longer? Just for a few more moments. This… This feels like a paradise.”

“Which is exactly why we need to leave.” He knew if he stayed with her any longer, he wouldn’t have the courage to give her up anymore.

For Rhaegar, melancholy had always been his constant companion, but what he felt the moment he saw Lyanna leave was beyond compare. He had thought then that it was the last he’d ever see of his lady love. But little did he know then, that fate that had separated them would reunite them again. That in the end, Lyanna was right: their destinies were intertwined. That a year later, not too far from here, he would vow to love her and cherish her for the rest of his days, with both old gods and new as their witnesses. That he would find happiness with her, in their little world, even if for a little while. That he would go to war for her. That he would die with her name on his lips, and her face and her smile etched in his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Would love to hear your thoughts :)


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